Saturday, July 23, 2011

Trying to Find Balance...and a Little Bit (OK, a lot) of Whining

Seriously, this is long and whiny, and I'm going to post a two-sentence (OK, maybe two-paragraph) summary here in just a minute anyway; but if you feel like sticking with it, enter at your own risk.

Wow, I just realized that I am over half-way through my reading year...well, half-way through the year, period, but...anyway, I have only reviewed four books this year.  That's pitiful.  I just haven't been very motivated to do any reviews lately.  Part of it is probably because I haven't read that many books that I feel all that strongly about; but, also, I have been having a really hard time being a good judge of how much time I spend in front of the computer, and I keep debilitating myself with headaches.

The thing is, I can feel when I've been sitting in front of the computer for too long--I start getting this weird eye pressure and pain between my eyebrows and it sort of wraps all the way around to the back of my head--and I know I should stop then, but if I'm in the middle of blogging, I'll try to finish my post or I just want to check this one more thing on email or I just need to work a little bit on this spreadsheet or I'm just going to catch up on a couple more blogs and wait! What's this headline about?? Etc.

The other thing is, I think the eye pain sets in a lot like other muscle aches.  You know how you get that two-day soreness after you've worked out really hard?  Like, the day you workout, you might feel really exhausted, but you're not really sore and the next day you're starting to feel it a little bit and by the next day, you can't get your own cereal because it's inside the top cabinet, and it hurts to reach up and open the door?  I think it's kind of like that.  I'll over do it one day, and the next day I'm like, Hey, I feel OK, I'm going to go sit in front of the computer some more or, worse yet, play on the iPad for a little while (add a teeny tiny bit of nausea to the above symptoms...yeah, I know!); and then the next day, I'm out with a dull ache in between my eyes for an entire day.  Sometimes it gets so bad that I actually can't physically exert myself at all because it just intensifies the headache so much.  And I mean AT ALL.  Like, the pressure required to squeeze the handles on my pruning shears to trim my flowers causes the blood going to my head to throb and exponentially increase the pain in my head.

I know there is an easy solution for this:  Don't spend so much time in front of the computer.  It's just such a vicious cycle though.  If I'm out of commission for a day or two with a headache, I might be pretty good at staying away from the computer for an additional day or two after that, but then I feel like I have to catch up, so the next time I sit down at the computer, I'm behind on my blog and I want to catch up on the news and I want to see what's going on with my stocks and I need to see what everyone's up to on Facebook and Twitter and, now, Google+, and, Oh!  Headache!

I think part of the problem is also my prescription for my glasses.  I need to get in to my optometrist and see if he can tweak my glasses a little bit, and that's another thing I hate doing.  Just once, ONCE, I'd like to get a new pair of glasses or contacts and have them be right the first time.  The optometrist can only fiddle around with my prescription so much, and at some point I might just have to go back to the ophthalmologist for a whole new round of, "Which one is better, A or B?...A?...or B?" "They're both about the same." "No, one of them should definitely be better." "OK, let me see them again...." "Don't think about it; just answer."  Well, let's see, if I stare at the screen without blinking, it's A.  If I blink, it's B.  If I blink a couple times in rapid succession, it's A...or B.  I DON'T KNOW!  THEY BOTH LOOK THE SAME!  WELL, OK, NOT THE SAME, DIFFERENT, BUT NOT IN A BETTER/WORSE KIND OF WAY, JUST IN A ONE'S-BLURRIER-IN-A-DIFFERENT-WAY KIND OF WAY AND IF I ANSWER THIS WRONG I'LL HAVE TO  WALK AROUND FOR A COUPLE WEEKS FEELING LIKE SOMEBODY'S TRYING TO PULL MY LEFT EYEBALL OUT OF MY HEAD WHILE ALSO TWISTING IT JUUUUUST A LITTLE BIT!

And if any of you well-meaning people out there pop in with a "Why don't you just get LASIK?" I will come through the screen and punch you in the face.  Nothing personal.  I know all the same people you do who have had it done and have said it's the best thing they've ever done EVER; I'm just not ready to have anybody laser my eyeball open just yet, OK?        

So, vision issues aside, I'd appreciate any advice.  Although mine are largely self-inflicted, I know I'm not the only one with issues balancing virtual and real life.  I could just sit down, write my blog, post my tweets, and leave, but that just seems rude.  Besides, where's the fun in that?  I want to read your blogs and follow your interesting links and leave comments on your posts too.  (And, OK, yes, have you do the same for me!)  How do I do all that without making myself miserable?  I know it's mostly just an issue of discipline--I just need to say, "OK, one hour(...or whatever) today and that's it!" but the question is, what do I do in that one hour?  Do I only visit my book bloggers on Monday and my garden bloggers on Tuesday and work on my personal stuff (spreadsheets, email, etc.) on Wednesday and blog on Thursday?  What about all the interesting articles that crop up throughout the week?  I can't save all those for one day because then I'm back sitting in front of the computer for 8 straight hours, catching up on the week's events.  Then I'm out of commission for a few days, everything backs up, and it's right back

OK, I've realized that as nerdy as it sounds, I think I AM going to have to actually make a schedule for my virtual life and try to stick to it.

Wow.  Congratulations to anyone who made it all the way through this.  Believe it or not, this started out as a book review.  Ha!  All this stuff has been going around in my head for a long time now, but actually sitting down and putting into words helps me think through it.  Thanks, and I'm sorry.  


Care said...

oh, that's OK. here's hoping you find the time balance. I do not have any solutions to suggest that are all that different from the ones you seem to *know* might help.

Dreamybee said...

Thanks, Care. I think a lot of the time we actually do have the answers to our own problems. It's just a matter of knowing that you know or putting into action what you know.