Part of my excuse is that I just got a new computer (an iMac-it's so pretty!) and have been in transition mode for the last few days. Prior to that I can blame it on not wanting to subject myself to my old, PIECE OF CRAP HP Pavilion zd8000. Anyway...how can I explain the current state of my HP screen? Ladies, take an old pair of pantyhose that you don't mind ruining. (Gentlemen, don't try this without first checking in with your lady and getting her approval. Never mess with your lady's pantyhose without checking with her first. If you have your own pantyhose, then feel free to disregard this warning.) If you already have a pair that is ruined, better yet. Now, take said pantyhose (pre-ruined or otherwise) and give them to your cat to play with. If said cat happens to be wrapped in Velcro and living in a briar patch, all the better. (If you don't have a cat, perhaps you could borrow one of these vicious cats!) After a couple of days, retrieve the pantyhose. Are they nice and full of runs? Good! Now take the pantyhose and stretch them over your monitor. This is what my screen looks like.
You might be thinking, "Wow, how old is your computer? 4-, 5-years? Sounds like it's been through a lot, maybe even 6-, dare I say 7-, years?" No. No it's not. It is almost 3 years old. That's right. At almost 3-years-old, my computer screen is no longer useful for anything other than opthalmalogic (?) torture. Huh. Apparently opthalmalogic isn't a word. That's ok. You all know what I mean. The keys on the keyboard are sticky, (meaning they stick, not that they are covered in any sticky substances), the volume control button sort of works...sometimes, the paint is flaking off the front of the computer, and it's noisy as hell. I won't go into any further detail, but I will say that the downhill slide started around 6 months in. From there it has gotten progressively worse. Oh yeah, and it refuses to talk to my HP printer/scanner/copier for purposes of scanning. Just flat out refuses. If we wanted to scan anything, my husband had to hook up his Sony Vaio or his Dell so that we could scan using our HP scanner. Because my HP computer couldn't do it. Because it's a GIANT PIECE OF CRAP. **Update 10/25/08-upon further consideration, I'm willing to concede that the scanning issue may have more to do with my HP printer/scanner/copier than with my computer. This comes as a result of the new HP printer/scanner/copier that we received as a free-rebate deal in conjunction with our iMac purchase. The scanner function wasn't worth a crap with our iMac either, so maybe it's just that HP makes crappy products all around. We now have a Canon Pixma MX 310 and it actually prints, copies, AND scans, just like it's supposed to!**
Anyway. Enough about that. I now have a lovely iMac with a clear screen and a thin, dainty keyboard that acknowledges every key stroke I make, it doesn't make any noise at all, it can speak to my HP printer, and it's just so pretty! I am still trying to learn all the ins and outs of mac ownership and operation, but so far, so good.