What's more powerful, good or bad?

In Nymeth's review of 84, Charing Cross Road, she says, "...this is a book I will read when I need to be reminded, as we all do sometimes, that yes, people can in fact be very kind to one another. It's not that I want to ignore the fact that they can be awful too, but sometimes I just need a book that will make me smile all the way through."

This is how I felt about Same Kind of Different as Me, (which I reviewed here). That along with

Ali's good deed from years ago, along with her review of Striving for Greatness got me thinking about what's more important-happy, uplifting stories about people doing good things out of the kindness of their hearts or through their strength in their faith, stories that inspire us to this kind of action ourselves or stories about the atrocities people can inflict on one another, stories that anger us, shock us, sadden us, and make us want to stand up and take action against such behavior.

Is one type of story more effective than another? Does it depend on the reader or the particular acts being discussed? Is a story about cruelty to animals more likely to move someone to action than a story about people who rescue animals? Alternately, is a story about humanitarian efforts in a foreign country more likely to inspire support than a story telling about the atrocities perpetrated by a warlord in that same country?

What do you think? Have you read a book, seen a movie, heard an interview that inspired you to take action to make the world a better place, even if it just means smiling more to strangers on the street or not being as snippy with telemarketers? Or maybe even made you go to church or volunteer to do something outside of your comfort zone? Was it because you were inspired by the good in others or scared by the bad? Did you want to stand up and join in or stand up and fight?

Ultimately, I suppose we need both, the good and the bad, to remind us that both are still out there. We need the good to keep us from becoming cynical, jaded, and hopeless; we need the bad to keep us from becoming complacent, ... well, that's about all I can come up with. What do ya'll think?

What I'm Reading Now-Same Kind of Different as Me

Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore with Lynn Vincent-(This is another airport find that I happened to pick up at LAX along with Gang Leader for a Day.) Okay, so, brief review (no, seriously!): Rich white guy (Ron), and his super-religious wife (Deborah), who is into volunteering at the local homeless shelter/mission, make friends at the shelter with an older black man (Denver) who used to pick cotton for The Man and is very distrustful of the husband and wife team and their motives at first. Rich white guy is constantly shocked and amazed by the grace shown him by his wife, his skeptical new friend, and the rest of the homeless shelter's...residents? shelterees? congregation? (I'm not really sure what the correct terminology is here.)

See? I told you it would be brief.

I really loved this book even though I'm not too comfortable with books about How Great God Is! It's not that I dispute it necessarily, I just don't want it shoved down my throat, and this book can be a little shove-y at times; but the husband is right there with you through the whole thing going, "I know, right? I thought my super-religious wife was crazy too!" so it all kind of worked out. Also, there were enough more subtle parts to break down my defenses. The story is told alternately from Ron and Denver's points of view, and I think that Lynn Vincent did a good job of capturing both of their voices.

When word spread at the mission that Deborah (Miss Debbie) had been diagnosed with cancer, Denver talks about how the folks at the mission took it:

There's a lot of folks come down to the mission and volunteer, but most of em was not faithful like Miss Debbie. But that wadn't all. It was the way she treated the homeless that made them accept her as their friend. She never asked em no questions, like how come you is in here? Where you been? How many times you been in jail? How come you done all them bad things in your life? She just loved em, no strings attached.

That's the way she loved me, too. The Word says God don't give us credit for lovin the folks we want to love anyway. No, He gives us credit for loving the unlovable. (...)

You know, if you ain't poor, you might think it's the folks in them big ole fine brick churches that's doin all the givin and the carin and the prayin. I wish you coulda seen all them little circles a' homeless folks with their heads bowed and their eyes closed, whisperin what was on their hearts. Seemed like they didn't have nothin to give, but they was givin what they had, takin the time to knock on God's front door and ask Him to heal this woman that had loved them.

During Deborah's stay in the hospital Ron stops by the mission. He hasn't seen Denver for a while, and he wanted to check in with him.

In the hallway to the kitchen, we ran into Chef Jim. I asked him if he'd seen Denver that day.

"He's probably sleeping." he said.

"Sleeping!" I blurted. Lazy, I thought. It was already midafternoon.

Jim raised an eyebrow. "You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Well, when Denver heard about Miss Debbie, he told me she had a lot of friends that would be praying for her all day. But he figured she needed someone to pray all night, and he would be the one to do it."

My eyes widened as he went on. "So he goes outside at midnight, sits down next to the Dumpster, and prays for Miss Debbie and your family. When I get up and come down here at three in the morning to get breakfast going, he comes in for a cup of coffee and we pray here in the kitchen for her until about four. Then he goes back outside and prays till sunup."

Ashamed, I realized again how deep grew the roots of my own prejudice, of my arrogant snap judgments of the poor.

Yikes. How many of us have ever been in those shoes, making a snap judgment of someone because s/he's poor, rich, black, white, clearly a foreigner, clearly a native, employed, unemployed, homeless, living in a mansion, a man, a woman, married with no kids, married with kids, single with no kids, single with lots of kids, young, old, tall, short, fat, thin, in short, not like us? I know I have, and one of the things that I try to take away from a book like this is the inspiration and strength to not do things like that. In an interview at the back of the book, Denver says, "You never know whose eyes God is watchin' you through. It probably ain't gonna be your preacher and it just might be someone who was livin' like I used to." whose eyes God is watchin' you through...I never thought of it like that.

I've mentioned before that I like Anne Lamott's writing because even though she is deeply religious and believes, much like Deborah, that when you are in doubt the best thing to do is pray (which I can't really relate to at all) she still has moments of, "Seriously, God? Are you KIDDING ME???" (which I can totally relate to). That's why this book worked for me as well. Deborah and Denver both had a faith that was unshakeable, but Ron...not so much. He was skeptical, and I can relate to that, but he also witnessed some things that might be classifiable as miracles and really couldn't come up with any other explanations...which makes me willing to question my beliefs more so than anyone telling me, "You just have to have faith. Because it says so in the Bible."

Fore more information about this book, you can check out the website at http://www.samekindofdifferentasme.com/. There's a video, a calendar of Ron and Denver's speaking engagements, and other reviews and comments about the book.

Have you reviewed this book? Let me know and I'll add a link to your review.

A little help, please.

Remember how I told you that some of the nicest people we've ever met have been Cold Stone franchisees?  Well, one of those people was hospitalized last week with a diagnosis of lymphoma. We don't have all the details yet; they think it's fairly late-stage, but treatable.  Chemo began yesterday and is expected to run for 6 months.  

Remember how, in that same post, I told you about my cousin who cried because she was so happy to see me happy?  Well, one of her friends was hospitalized with pneumonia yesterday.  Today they pulled 3 liters of fluid out of her lungs and told her husband that it might not be a bad idea to get her family in town.  When asked to clarify, the doctor said it might be a good idea to get her family in town because otherwise they might not get another chance to see her.  

Back in...May, June (?) my great-uncle was diagnosed with lymphoma.  The good news is that they caught it pretty early, he has made it through all of his chemotherapy, and, so far, things are looking good.  The bad news is that a few months earlier his son was also diagnosed with lymphoma, they did NOT catch it early, and things are not looking as good.  

So, I know you all are busy thinking about your own friends and family this holiday season, and I'm sure many of you have worries of your own, but if you could just take a minute and send up a prayer, put a message out to the universe, visualize full recoveries for Dean, Doan, Joe, and Terry, whatever works for you, I'd really appreciate it, and I know they would too.  

Thanks.    

  

Props to Hawaii Pacific Plumbing Supply Company

So, it seems that our house is made of spare parts.  It's coming up on 10 years of age, and it's at that point where things are beginning to need to be replaced.  So far, anytime we've had to replace anything, it's some funky size that nobody carries.  This could just be a function of living on an island where supplies are limited, or it could be that the guy who built our house got some great deals on clearance items.  I don't know.  Anyway, I need to replace our bathtub faucet, and after having no luck at Home Depot, I turned to the folks at Hawaii Pacific Plumbing Supply Company (HPPS).  

Sadly, this tale does not end with me being able to get the part I needed, but, BUT, the folks at HPPS tried really hard to help me, and sometimes that counts just as much as getting me the right answer.  I spent about an hour-and-a-half in their showroom over a couple of days, the first day with the broken faucet and the second day with pictures of the parts that are still attached to our house.  (Note:  I could have emailed them the pictures, which is what they asked me to do because that would have been easier than asking me to come back into town, but I was in town anyway, so it was ok.)  Over those two days, the staff at HPPS dug through their warehouse; made phone calls; looked up information on line; tracked down the veteran guys in the office, who have been around and seen some things in the plumbing world, to try to identify my mystery faucet; thumbed through catalogs; and generally tried to provide some actual customer service.  Also, they managed to use the term "nipple," which is a vocationally legitimate term, in a relevant manner without snickering; and, let's face it, unless you are in the medical or body-piercing field, that's not always easy to do.  But, I digress.    

The end result:  I now know that the piece I need has been obsolete since 2002, and I will probably have to call a plumber to fix our situation.  That's a drag, but the fact that they didn't make me run all over town to 6 different plumbing supply places and make 14 different phone calls to find out the same information meant a lot!  Because that's the level of customer service I've come to expect these days.  Has anyone else noticed this?  Is it just me or do you find yourself doing more and more of your own leg work these days in order to help Customer Service do their job, things that Customer Service used to do in order to provide, you know, service to their customers?  

Anyway, thanks to Justin, Jeannine, Courtney, and the rest of the folks at Hawaii Pacific Plumbing Supply Company who helped me identify the latest obsolete part in my house!  (You guys wouldn't happen to know if there's some place that carries screen doors that are about 1/2" smaller than everything that seems to be in the stores, would you?)   

Weekly Geeks #27-Dewey

This week's post is a tribute to Dewey, author of The Hidden Side of a Leaf blog, who passed away recently.  For anyone who doesn't know, she was a book blogger and was part of a huge community of bloggers.  One of the activities that she ran was Weekly Geeks.  Each week a new theme would be announced and everyone was invited to participate by blogging about this theme and then linking to their posts on Dewey's blog.  So, this week, in honor of Dewey, Becky has suggested that Weekly Geeks #27 be a tribute to Dewey.  Please visit Becky's site for links to other Weekly Geeks' tributes to Dewey.

Like so many people, I was shocked to hear of Dewey's passing.  I didn't really know her the way a lot of other bloggers out there did-we didn't email each other, we didn't chat, but we did exchange the occasional friendly comment.  Hers was one of the first blogs that I started following.  I was drawn in by the title, which comes from this Toni Morrison quote:

"Birth, life, and death--each took place on the hidden side of a leaf."

I love this quote; as a gardener, I know how true this is in a literal sense, but it is also infinitely expandable and applicable as metaphor.  We each live on our own hidden side of a leaf, and there are a thousand different things that take place in each of our lives that no one else (or at least very few others) is ever even aware of, but that doesn't make them any less miraculous or any less important to us.  Dewey's blog existed in a microcosm of the blogosphere that I might never have found, had I not turned over the right leaf.  But I did turn over the right leaf, and there I found a huge community of bloggers who were deeply supportive of one another, with Dewey setting the example at every turn.  In fact, I think 80% of my current Google Reader list can be attributed to Dewey in one way or another!  

She organized and participated in challenges, reviewed books, headed up the 24-hour Read-a-thon and the Bookworms Carnival, not to mention the Weekly Geeks.  I don't know how she managed to do it all, but I was always impressed by her.  And I was always going to participate Next Time.  

If you visit The Hidden Side of a Leaf, it is easy to see how many people had become a part of Dewey's on-line community, and also how many of them considered Dewey a true friend, even though many of them had never met her in real life.  I can't remember where I heard this-some movie or something I think-but years ago I remember someone saying that when we leave this world, we will not be judged by who we loved but by who loved us.  It seems to me that Dewey was loved by an amazing group of people, both in the blogging world and in her real life (she paid a lovely tribute to her husband and her son in her "About Dewey" section).  She has been an inspiration to me and to so many others, and for that I will always be appreciative.  I have added the memorial button (courtesy of Bethany) to my sidebar as a tribute to a fellow blogger whom I admired.  

My deepest condolences to Dewey's family.  I am so very, very sorry for your loss.                     

Blogging for a Worthy Cause

Until I read about it today at fivecentnickel.com I had no idea that today was Blog Action Day.  The theme this year is poverty, and bloggers are encouraged to discuss this topic today to try to bring awareness.  Nickel has generously agreed to match food bank donations made by his readers, so please check out his post and see if you can contribute.  If not, that's ok, but maybe you will be inspired to do something else.  

I have been meaning to do a post about some of the organizations that are featured in my "I think you're nifty too!" sidebar, and this seems like the perfect opportunity. 

Habitat for Humanity "seeks to eliminate poverty housing and homelessness from the world, and to make decent shelter a matter of conscience and action."  They help build houses for people who wouldn't be able to afford a house through traditional means.  Most of the materials and labor are donated, and the houses are sold for no profit to the recipient families.  The families who receive houses must invest "sweat equity" by assisting in the actual building of the house and by helping to build houses for other families.  If they are physically unable to participate in the building process, they can volunteer in other ways.  Habitat's program is a great example of a hand-up not a hand-out mentality and it fosters a lot of community/neighborhood support by getting local people involved in the building of a house.  I've volunteered on a work site, and while there weren't many of us who knew how to build a house, there were enough people that did who could instruct the rest of us about where to pound nails, how to cut the necessary lengths of lumber, etc.  The progress we made in one day was pretty impressive, and it was a great feeling to know that you were helping to give a family a home.  

Heifer International is another great "hand-up not a hand-out" program.  Heifer works with families and communities to educate people about animal husbandry and farming techniques that are sustainable and, very importantly, relevant to their local areas.  Heifer recipients must also pass on the gift by sharing their wealth and knowledge with their community or other communities.  For just $20 you could provide a family with a flock of ducks, geese, or chicks or you could purchase a share of a llama.  A flock of birds can provide a family with protein for themselves as well as providing a new stream of income through the sale of eggs and fowl.  Sometimes this can be the difference between a child being able to receive an education or not.  The recipient family must also pass on a part of their flock to another family in need, and so forth and so on.  You can purchase anything from a beehive to a water buffalo.  This is a great chance to get a child interested in charitable giving!

Kiva.org facilitates microcredit loans to people in the developing world.  You can lend as little as $25 and know that it is going to help somebody who is trying to build a better life for themselves and their families.  Recently there was so much interest in Kiva.org that they actually ran out of loans to fund!  This is amazing, but they seem to be back on track with new entrepreneurs awaiting loans.  You can read a brief biography on all the loan applicants and decide to whom you want to lend money.  To date I have loaned out $950, $723 of which has been paid back.  Lenders don't earn interest on their loans, but then that's not really the point.  The point is that you're doing something good with your money.

Lesley's Life is Sweet is founder Lesley Byrne's way of fulfilling her mission to "help end extreme hunger, poverty and diseases in the world through the sales of [her] artisan chocolates and gourmet confections."  Her chocolates are amazing-you can read about how they made me cry here-and you can eat them completely guilt-free because by doing so you are helping to make the world a better place!  How's that for win-win?

Women for Women International is a great organization that goes into war-torn communities and helps rebuild those communities one woman at a time.  In times of war women are often the most victimized and also are the ones left to rebuild when all of their men have died in war.  These women need to know that they have rights as individuals, what those right are, how to stand up for those rights, and how to exercise those rights.  They also need to be able to provide food, clothing, shelter, and, hopefully, an education for their families.  Women for Women International's programs help women develop literacy and vocational skills, learn about their rights and become active members in their communities.  Individual women are sponsored through monthly donations, and their sponsors are encouraged to communicate with them via letters.

Of course any of these organizations will accept cash donations and, indeed, rely on them to continue doing what they do, but if you can donate your time, even better.  Please check out these organizations to see if any of them might be a good fit for you or let me know which organizations you've found that you would like to share.  

**Update-10/23/08-You all know how much fun I have finding the little coincidences between what I'm reading and my everyday life.  Well this time it has to do with what you're reading (in this case, my blog!) and my everyday life.  Don't worry, I haven't gone totally off my rocker; I realize that there's usually going to be some tie in between what I write and what's actually going on in my life, and I'm not going to start pointing it out to you all the time-(Hey, guess what!  I just wrote about going to the mall, and today, I was AT THE MALL!!  Ooooooh.).  

I have worked with Habitat for Humanity in the past, but I haven't been in touch with them recently, and while putting together this post, I was thinking, Hmmm, I really should get in touch with them again and see if they need any help right now.  Well, 3 days later, they called me!  They were trying to pull together some last-minute help for the following day's annual kitchen and bath tour and wanted to know if I could help.  I could and I did!  So, yay me!  Ok, it would have been a much bigger and better "yay, me!" if I had called them, but still.  You gotta start somewhere.    

What I'm Reading Now-Traveling Mercies (and, (finally!), a few pictures from our trip)

Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott-When an atheist relative told me that this book sent her into the ugly cry on the treadmill at her gym, I figured it was worth checking out, and I'm so glad I did. I loved this book! I'm not big on religion; I don't want to be preached to, I don't want to hear about how I need to be saved and how everyone else in the world needs to be saved, I don't want to hear about how much better you are than me because you've been saved and about how now that you have Jesus in your life He will take care of everything and you never have to worry about anything ever again and how anybody who isn't on this path is Screwed.

What I do want to hear about is how religion or faith or spirituality has inspired someone, given her strength, caused her to see beauty in the world that she otherwise might not have seen, encouraged her to find a grace within herself that she didn't know was there, you know, the good stuff. Anne Lamott delivers all of this, and she's hilarious to boot. While she does have a pretty unshakeable faith, she also has plenty of, "You've GOT to be kidding me!" discussions with the Lord, which I found refreshing. I think that was what appealed to me the most about this book, the fact that it was written by someone who is not perfect in her relationship with God and does not claim to be. Absolute, unquestioning faith in something that you can't prove exists is tricky, even for the most sincere.

One of my favorite examples of this is when she is trying to explain the significance of Ash Wednesday to her child, Sam. She has turned off the TV and explained that if he wanted to draw or play with some of his other toys that would be fine, but just for today, in observance of Ash Wednesday, they were not going to watch TV. A few minutes later, he has turned the TV back on and Alvin and the Chipmunks are singing "Achy Breaky Heart," and Lamott LOSES IT. Personally, I think having to listen to Alvin and the Chipmunks sing "Achy Breaky Heart" is a totally justifiable reason to lose one's mind, but I think this had more to do with Sam's blatant disregard of the somber speech she had just made about the importance of Ash Wednesday. Anyway, she proceed to shout, cuss, and then she

"grabbed him by his pipecleaner arm and jerked him in the direction of his room, where he spent the next ten minutes crying bitter tears.

It's so awful, attacking your child. It is the worst thing I know, to shout loudly at this fifty-pound being with his huge trusting brown eyes. It's like bitch-slapping E.T." (p. 93)

I've read that passage several times, and it cracks me up every time. Maybe that just means I'm warped. I don't know.

I've mentioned recently that I've noticed a lot of coincidences involving the books I'm reading and my real life activities. I was reading this book on our recent vacation in Oregon, which began with an ill-fated trip to Vegas, a drive over to L.A., and then a drive from L.A. up to Portland during which we stopped to check out many of the redwood forests and groves along the way.

(Me sitting next to the Founders' Tree in Humboldt Redwoods State Park)

For those of you who have never seen a redwood, they are amazing. For those of you who have, you know. They're so huge and stately and...and...I don't even know how to describe them. (However, Bob Neubauer did a pretty good job of it, so I'll let you read his article here.) For me, they're comforting and feel like home. I've always liked evergreen forests, and living in Hawaii has reinforced that love. As beautiful as the tropical forests (jungles? I'm not really sure what the proper term is here) are, they're messy. Evergreen forests are always neat and orderly and covered with that soft, springy, uniform covering of needles, not a disorderly mess of decaying leaves under which there could be hiding any number of creepy crawlies or decaying fruit. (Stick with me here; this does eventually tie back in to the book). They feel serene and tidy. Perhaps this appeals to me because I tend to be the exact opposite of that-our house is a cluttery mess. As much as we try to keep it up, by the end of each week, there is just clutter everywhere. I don't really know how it happens. I'm pretty sure it might involve gnomes. Anyway, evergreen forests are already tidy; you don't feel like you have to straighten anything up, so you can just be and relax. A redwood forest only amplifies this. Not only is it tidy and calm and serene, but the trees have been there for longer than we can comprehend and (hopefully) will continue to be there, standing guard, sentry-like, providing a calm, secure, safe retreat from the rest of the world for as long as there is still some good in the world.

All of this is to say that in Lamott's book, she talks a lot about the northern California area (through which we had just driven!). She also talks about a health scare involving her son. After an extremely nerve-wracking wait, she finally receives some good news on this front and calls her friend in order to share the news. His response: "Baby? Sometimes deliverance is as cool as the air in a redwood grove."

Of course, this was cool for me because I was like, "Hey, we were just in a bunch of redwood groves!" but it was more than that. It was a reminder of how lucky we have been to experience things like that. I realize there are probably millions of people each year who visit the redwood forests and there are people who live with redwoods in their back yards, so it's not like we are an elite group or anything, but that doesn't make the experience any less special. Also, there are a lot of people who have never found themselves surrounded by redwoods and probably never will, and so in that regard, I do feel lucky to have had that experience.

So, long story short, I would totally recommend this book. It's funny and uplifting and honest and heartfelt and just an all-around good read.

Props to the Spirit of Freedom on their customer service

Recently, I wrote about my snorkeling experience on the Great Barrier Reef, specifically on board the Spirit of Freedom dive boat. I mentioned how my experience might have been better, and I finally decided to go ahead and send an email to the company in that regard. I suspect they don't get many snorkelers-most people who sign up to live aboard a dive boat on the GBR are going to be diving, after all, so I imagine they don't focus a whole lot on what to do with snorkelers other than make sure they make it back on the boat. While that's a GREAT start, I think there are some easy ways that they could make a single snorkeler feel a little more comfortable. Anyway, I just wanted to say that within 24 hours I received not one response but TWO acknowledging my email and thanking me for my suggestion. So, way to go, Spirit of Freedom! I don't know what you'll actually do with my suggestion, but thanks for at least making me feel like you care.

Maybe a reader could book a trip with them and report back to me. I'm sure somebody could find a legitimate way to write this off in the name of research!

Why I'm telling you to go read someone else's blog

Heather J. over at Age 30-A Year of Books posted a review about Genuine Men: Journeys in Stories and Stills. I haven't read the book myself, but from what I can gather, it celebrates positive male role models, and isn't that something worth celebrating these days? Heather has asked people to comment with stories about their Genuine Men, and so far it's a great read. So, grab your box of Kleenex and head on over there to read about some Genuine Men and nominate one of your own. Feel free to leave a comment here as well!

So, as if this isn't great all by itself, Heather is giving away a copy of Genuine Men: Journeys in Stories and Stills to one of her readers after September 2nd, so get on over there and acknowledge one of the great men in your life!

Courage, part III

Well, I've been talking about John McCain and his thoughts on courage in the last couple of posts, and I wanted to post this. While I was in DC, I went to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall. This is the first time I've been to DC, and of course I've always heard about the Wall and seen pictures of it. It's incomprehensible just trying to wrap your mind around all those names and what they represent, but what really got to me were all the letters and mementos that were left there. There were what appeared to be letters written by school children, pictures of grandchildren and other personal symbols of remembrance. The one that really stuck with me though was this one, pictured above. It reads:

"Dear Heroes,

I sincerely hope I am soldiering with the same courage & bravery you all did.

SFC E. Orque"

I'm not sure about the signature, but I think that is what it says.

It was written on what appeared to be the back of a business card, utilitarian, to the point, humble, simultaneously uplifting and heart-breaking.

The spirit of aloha

Part of the inspiration for this blog was the desire to share good news, you know stuff to balance out the regular news, all the crap that we hear on a daily basis that makes us cynical and embarrassed to be a part of the human race.

Even if you have never been to Hawaii, you have probably heard somebody somewhere talk about the "spirit of aloha." This is the spirit of generosity and welcoming that the Hawaiian people are known for around the world. This is also something that it is easy to be cynical about. There are a lot of stories out there about people who have had bad experiences in Hawaii, or perhaps your own experiences (in Hawaii or elsewhere) have led you to believe that this just doesn't exist, that it's an urban legend like that guy in Nigeria who just needs someone to help him transfer all that money! Won't someone help this poor guy out?? Okay, I guess that's not technically an urban legend, but you know what I mean.

Anyway... in that vein I wanted to share with you some of the things that I have experienced since moving to Hawaii 6 1/2 years ago that help me keep faith in humanity.

1) (A little background): My husband and I bought a house that is just about as far away from any other place on the island as you can be. You want to go to Honolulu? 45 minutes, minimum. You want to go to Haleiwa, on Oahu's beautiful north shore? 45 minutes. You want to go to Pearl Harbor? 1 hour. This makes for a long, albeit beautiful, drive to and from work. We lived here for about 2 months before we bought our house and were able to move in. Until then, we were relying on the kindness of relatives with a new baby (seriously new, like he was born while were living with them). So, while they were as accommodating as they could be, after a while, we had to GET OUT! After that, we bounced around between military facilities and a "B&B" which hadn't been cleaned in who knows how long, was full of roaches, and was next door to a dog pen. We weren't really located anywhere where the air could move at all, but when it did, all it did was waft in dog poo. We were miserable. All of our free time had been spent house hunting, and when you call home and people ask, "How's Hawaii??" nobody wants to hear you whine about how hard it is living in paradise! So, not only are you unable to vent, but you can't garner any sympathy if you do!

When we finally found a permanent residence, it was about 3 months before we were able to receive our household goods. We lived on an air mattress and 2 borrowed camp chairs for 3 months. The previous owners were kind enough to lend us a little TV, but since we didn't have cable, I can tell you a lot more about how ants go about attacking and dismembering termites, injured cockroaches, or dead centipedes than I can about anything that was in the fall lineup in 2001.

(The good part of the story!) One night on his way home from work, my husband stopped at a local restaurant to see what they had. It was late, he hadn't eaten all day, the cupboards were pretty bare at home, and all he had was his checkbook. He stopped in, looked at the menu, asked if they accepted checks, and when the lady behind the counter said no, he said, "Ok, thanks!" (my husband is nothing if not bafflingly friendly) and turned around and walked out. (Now, at this point, we were living uncomfortably in the middle of nowhere, getting on each other's last nerves, and I was afraid that the one thing in Hawaii that I might not be able to deal with was The Bug Situation, so...things were tense.) As he was almost to his car, a little girl ran out of the restaurant and said, "Wait! My grandma says you need to eat. Come back inside!" This woman loaded my husband up with about 5 pounds of food and sent him on his way. That sort of kindness has been extended to us over and over again, and it never ceases to amaze me...(and it always makes me cry).

2) Right about the time we moved out here, laser hair removal was becoming the big thing. I am a pretty furry gal, and I thought this would be the best thing ever. (It was ok. Perhaps more on that another day.) Sometime between my initial consultation and either my first or second treatment, we had to put one of our two Basset hounds to sleep. This was incredibly difficult, and to this day I have doubts about what we did and didn't do. (Perhaps more about this another day as well.) I think I had said something at the consultation about having to take my dog to the vet, and on a follow-up phone call or on one of my visits, someone had asked me if she was ok, and, of course, she wasn't. After my next treatment, I was at the front desk, making my payment and I commented on the beautiful flower arrangement that had been delivered. As I headed out to my car, the receptionist said, "Oh, wait, I'll walk you out." It's all of about 4 steps from the front desk to the door, and I thought that was a little weird, but ok, whatever. She grabbed the flowers off the front desk and headed toward the door. "These are for you." It was a sympathy arrangement from the staff. It was totally unexpected and, of course, it made me cry.

3) My first job out here was as a receptionist. In addition to the basic phone/mail duties, I would occasionally help out 2 of the other girls in the office whenever they were overwhelmed. Their work was very seasonal, and when they were busy, they were SWAMPED. During the absolute peak of the season, one of them went on vacation for 2 weeks, and the other one quit. On the same day. Guess who had a new job title? I knew a little bit but not nearly enough to be proficient about what these girls did, and I was FREAKING OUT. Our work was not only seasonal but very minute-to-minute, lots of putting out fires and dealing with government officials, which is always fun. They did have the decency to send emails out to all of our vendors letting them know that they were out of the office or had quit, so at least I didn't have to do that. One of our vendors called as soon as he saw the email and asked if there was anything he could do to help-send somebody over to answer phones? Bring me food? Anything?? This was not some vendor trying to earn points and ensure future service opportunities; he was in, he was our guy, he didn't have to worry about job security. This was a guy who, as a result of the service he provided, was pretty well entrenched in our chaos and genuinely felt my pain. I thought this was one of the sweetest things anybody could have done. I knew that he was frazzled and doing all he could to keep his business running smoothly, and yet he sounded so worried about me that I felt bad for making him worry! (And, I'm sure, at some point, this has made me cry.)

Another vendor called up and asked me if I knew what I needed to do regarding his services, and I didn't really have a clue. There was a lot of government clearances and other nonsense that had to be done on our end before he could step in to do his part. He had the utmost patience and walked me through everything that had to be done and gave me the time line on which it needed to be done. I realize that this probably had more to do with self-preservation than altruism; if I didn't get my stuff right, his stuff definitely wouldn't be right, and then there would have been BIG problems, but he could have just said, "Hey, she's got a boss. He can help her figure out what to do," and, really, it would have all been on me when everything went to hell in a hand basket. So for his help and patience I am also incredibly grateful.

This all happened within the first 9 months of our moving to Hawaii. These are all little things, but the spirit behind them is what makes them amazing. Who has restored your faith in humanity lately?