Tuesday traffic

I took this as I was sitting in traffic because I was impressed with how high up the guy in the cherry picker was.  I was hoping to capture the blur of the street lights moving in order to show how windy it was, and I was kind of bummed when I was able to examine a perfectly clear enlarged view of this picture at home.  Then I noticed the street sign!

I took this as I was sitting (okay, driving) in traffic on my way home...(and talking on the phone.  Don't tell my mother-she'd have a heart attack.  I was being very conscientious though, you know, for somebody with no hands on the wheel.)  I didn't even realize I had the bird in the picture until I got home and was able to look at my pictures on the computer.  (And, in case you're curious, the cheap gas is $2.89).

Washington DC is dangerous!

I was recently trying to decide whether or not I am an optimist or a pessimist. I have not made much progress since my initial decision that I am a snarky optimist. I have, however, come to the conclusion that, if nothing else, I am at least more optimistic than my mother.

I will be traveling to DC and the surrounding area soon, and since my mother is about 2 hours outside of DC, I thought it might be fun if she came into DC to do some sightseeing with me since neither of us has ever been there. There were a lot of other logistical issues that needed ironing out, so we left that as a hanging possibility. A few hours later she called me back and when I asked if she wanted to do the sightseeing thing, she said, "I don't think so. [My husband] says it's too dangerous." I pointed out that we wouldn't be hanging out in dark alleys in the middle of the night. We would be visiting touristy places that hundreds (thousands, even!) of people visit daily without incident. No dice. End of discussion. (We'll call her husband "Bob"). Once Bob puts anything into my mother's head, that's the end of it. There is no reasoning her out of this belief, whatever it is. So, I didn't try. I know when I'm fighting a losing battle.

So, anyway, she will pick me up at the airport and drive me out to where she and Bob live, and I will spend a couple of days there. I have been pissed off about this for about a week now. I could, of course, tell her, "Well, I'll be in DC. If you'd like to come hang out with me, that would be great," but the outcome of that would be that I wouldn't get to see my mom. On the upside, I would avoid a couple of days living with Bob as well. If it wasn't my mother, if it was just some neurotic friend or distant relative, I would go that route, but it's my mom. It's hard to justify flying thousands of miles, across an ocean, cross-country to get within 150 miles of your mother and then not see her. She got pissed when I was in Nashville, over 500 miles away, last year and didn't make plans to see her. Plus, I am counting on being able to have enough time at the end of my trip to actually get in the sightseeing that I want. I do want to see where my mom lives; it's supposed to be a very nice area. I'm just pissed off that she won't come into DC (and likely never will) because Bob said it's too dangerous. Grrr. Stupid Bob.

My husband travels a lot and ends up in DC a lot, so that is part of the reason that I'm not too worried about missing out on stuff on this trip. Between his being out there all the time and the miles he accrues, I should be able to accompany him out there again. AND, I am pretty optimistic about the fact that I will be able to do it without being shot. Or mugged. Or at least not shot AND mugged.

Green Ooze

4/19-The dream: I am at my aunt's house with my mom, and we are getting ready for bed. Morph to my old house, my parents' bedroom. In the bathroom, my ruffle-y white skirt & blouse outfit is on the floor where I discarded it earlier, and this cough-syrup green liquid is starting to ooze from the white subway tiles on the wall. I see it coming, I know it's going to get all over the floor and onto my clothes (which I just picked up from the dry cleaner!) but I don't act fast enough to keep it from happening. I wait until just a 1/2 second too late, then move my clothes, knowing that there is going to be a (possibly irremovable) stain. Dammit. Why can't I just act on stuff instead of waiting until it's too late? We are trying to leave the house. My mom is going to turn off the water under the sink because now there is water (green ooze? I can't remember now) everywhere. I'm glad she has the presence of mind to do this now. I was ready to bolt, knowing full well that it would be a huge mess by the time we were able to get someone here to help. My mom is dating one of my husband's ex-employees, whom I will call Rail Road. They are breaking up and he is going...back to wherever he came from, I guess. I am bummed by this. He gives me a huge, pick-me-up-off-the-floor, I'm-really-going-to-miss-you, you-know-I'll-always-love-you hug and we engage in an intimate tete-a-tete for a few minutes before he goes. I am sitting outside in a square on some big white steps, like outside the Washington Monument or in front of the Taj Mahal, something like that. It's a beautiful sunny day with a blue sky and light wind.

The interpretation: I always dream about my old house, so I've sort of stopped analyzing that portion of most of my dreams. Now that I think about it though, I do tend to dream of my mom and bathrooms a lot, usually with overflowing issues of some kind. Huh. This could relate to my family's fabulous method of dealing with issues which is this: 1) Ignore it and hope that it goes away. 2) When it doesn't go away, deal with it, but don't tell anyone else about it in order to save them from worry. 3) When the situation gets so out of hand that you can no longer a) hide it or b) suppress your feelings about it any longer, overwhelm the rest of the family by flooding them (aha!) with the informational and/or emotional backlog. Also, my sister and I both have a lot of issues with our mother surrounding our parents' divorce. Even though it's been 18 years now, many of the wounds are still...well, not fresh, exactly, but not well-healed either. So, anyway, I think that's why my mom is often associated with issues of overflowing crap in my dreams.

The green ooze-I don't know what the hell that was about. I've never dreamed about green ooze before. It didn't really seem toxic or anything, just messy.

The fact that I couldn't get my nice, white clothes out of the way in time-I think that's pretty straight forward. I did actually just pick up that outfit from the dry cleaner, so I think that was just fresh in my mind. I am terribly guilty of having plenty of lead time on something and then waiting until the last minute to take action on it or knowing that I should do something, not doing it, and then smacking myself on the forehead later for it.

My mom saving the day with her plumber's skills-I don't know what the hell that's all about. My mom is generally the cause of the overflowing crap, not the fixer of it.

My willingness to bolt and leave a huge mess-I don't know what that's all about either. I am not a bolter. I am the person who will stick around way after everyone else has quit trying, even when it has become clear to everyone, myself included, that I am fighting a losing battle. Maybe this is me saying I'm finally done trying to clean up the wreckage. If my mom wants to fix it, she needs to jump in and do it.

My mom's boyfriend-This is the part that's kind of freaking me out. In real life, I can't stand my mom's husband. Nobody can. The dream boyfriend, however, is totally sexy and flirt-worthy in real life. Maybe just wishful thinking that Mom would have hooked up with someone likeable? Did I mention he is about my age? I could probably delve a lot deeper into this, but I think there are some Freudian implications here that I really don't want to explore. I don't know. This person has also been the topic of many recent conversations and did move away a while ago, so perhaps my dream is just another manifestation of top-of-mind stuff (I hope, I hope).

Outside on the sunny steps with the wind blowing-I have two theories, one straight forward and boring, the other much deeper and more introspective...or at least a little less boring than the first. Theory 1: I have been talking about traveling to DC lately, so this part of my dream is another top-of-mind thing. Theory 2: There are still bright days ahead. Even after all the crap, all the flooding, all the leaving of loved-ones, that stuff will all disappear, at least long enough to sit outside and enjoy a beautiful sunny day.